Life with Mandi

Location: North Carolina, United States

I want to be a lawyer. Although at the moment I'm working on a criminal studies major and minoring in Psychology

Friday, November 11, 2005

Today's the Day

Well, this is the first time that I've started anything like this. I've never even kept a diary but, I figured that I needed somewhere to put my thoughts down. Maybe they will help one of you who reads this. So I'm going to devote today to telling you about me. All my life I've tried to be what I thought other people would want me to be. I've just now at the age of 21 that I will never be happy if I don't start doing what makes me happy. If you knew me you'd know that this sounds totally false. See I tend to hide myself under a very tight shell of what some may call anger or bitterness. It's all a front though. I'm really one of those closet romatics that just want to be loved. While I tell everyone that I plan to marry for money and preferably a gay guy so I won't have to worry about making him happy like a normal wife. I do know that I'm a very pretty girl even though I'm slightly overweight. Not fat but not skinny either. And now I'm planning on becoming the real me through a gradual transition. I don't want to shock anyone or make them think that it's all for show. Now more about me. I've never really dated that much and to my rememberance never had a steady boyfriend. I do have few friends and all though that sounds pretty pathetic I cherish them. I probably could have a ton of friends but I'm too afraid to let that many people in. I learned early in life that people don't always stick around when you want them to. Okay enough of the melodrama. I started this to tell people about my learning to finally be self-sufficent. I live with my mother in a trailor in one of those towns that people have never heard of. It's not too far away from Winston-Salem in NC though. I have just recently gotten my license so that's one step closer. I'm currently looking for a job so I can save up for a car. Thankfully my mother is going to help out. Though I wish she didn't have to. I'm really tired of depending on her and everyone else. Well that's enough for today.